This article is all about clearing up the mystery and confusion about the no contact rule. I will explain exactly how it works and how to use it correctly to help you with your relationship problems. We will explore how NC works, why it works, and what happens during your no contact time that will help heal you, and prepare you for a fresh start with your ex.

We will also debunk a lot of the misconceptions about using the no contact rule to get your ex back. After reading this article you should have a very good understanding of what to expect when you properly initiate the no contact rule.

The Break Up – Why You Need to Properly Initiate The No Contact Rule ASAP!

Chances are very good that you’re reading this a little too late, but let’s discuss this anyways, OK? Everyone’s first reaction after a break up is to get their ex back no matter what, this leads to begging, pleading, and even using “guilt” as a tool to get them back. But what happens?

That’s right, they become even more distant, and this drives you nuts, which causes you to keep repeating the above cycle. You continue until they either change phone numbers, email addresses, and whatever they can do to stop you from contacting them, or you give up and start to look for help. The bottom line is…the sooner you stop chasing them (contacting them) the sooner the healing process can begin. Now, next we will look at a great example of a no contact message to send to get the ball rolling, OK?

The No Contact Message – How to Write and Send The Proper No Contact Message

Now that you have come to your senses and want to make real progress in your attempt to win back your ex, it’s time to write and send your NC message.

A Good NC Message (if they broke up with you)

Hi,

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

A Good NC Message (if you broke up with them)

Hi,

I do not regret my decision to break up with you, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

A Good NC Message (if they broke up with you, and you share child custody)

Hi,

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it concerns our children. I will be in touch when I am ready.

A Good NC Message (if they broke up with you, and you share a business)

Hi,

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it concerns our business. I will be in touch when I am ready.

Now!

If you’re not sure if you’re broken up or not (maybe just taking a break)…then use this form of that message to get yourself out of “Relationship Limbo”…OK?

Hi,

I think that we need to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

After you have chosen the appropriate no contact message, how should you send it? My answer is whatever way you know for sure they will get it, and read it…or what’s the point, right? But! You do not want to call them and tell them over the phone…OK? Why?

Because they might hang up on you, and if they don’t they will probably just tune you out…make sense? Plus you want them to have a copy to read over and over (which they will, believe me). Next we will cover…The purpose of the no contact message, OK?

The Purpose of The No Contact Message – What The No Contact Rule Does And Does Not Do

Once you send the NC message and your ex tries to contact you, you MUST NOT reply to them, OK? But!

There will be instances when you need to interact with them, such as:

1. You share children and must discuss matters pertaining to them.
2. You share a business, or work in the same place.
3. You have shared financial matters.

In these circumstances you just need to be polite, and do not get lured into a discussion about yours, or theirs personal life…that’s it.

No contact for the most part is to keep them from knowing what is going on with you personally they will become more and more curious. This will help further down the line when you’re ready to set up a meeting to reconnect in a new relationship with them…understand?

Now to address some common questions about using no contact:

1. Won’t it look like I am ignoring my ex therefore making them angry with me?

NO, you sent a NC message asking them to not contact you, so if they ignore your request and contact you about things other than the ones explained above you have every right to not reply. Usually what they are trying to do is get you to break NC so they don’t have to worry about what you’re doing. You think this is a good thing, but it’s not…why?

Because as long as they know what you’re up too they will never want you back in a relationship, why settle when they can have their cake and eat it too, right? They get to play the field while you heel like a nice little puppy.

2. Won’t I just drive them into the arms of their new boyfriend or girlfriend?

They are already there, right? If not the no contact strategy will not make them do it, and if they do date someone chances are it’s to make you jealous, and when it doesn’t work, where does that leave them?

Now for a quick overview of what using NC will do: When send that NC message you’re telling your ex you agree with the break up and are no longer “chasing” them. You’re in a sense turning the tables and flipping a switch in their heads. They’re used to you pleading and begging and now you suddenly stop…why?

What are these big decisions you have to make…is it about them? Is this decision about whether to give up on ever coming back to me…what if I went too far? The emotionless “clean” message you sent them will have them guessing and putting you on their mind…that’s where you want to be. Next we will discuss what the no contact rule is really all about.

What The No Contact Rule Is Really About – 30 Days and The Healing Process

When you initiate the no contact rule you’re in fact putting an end to your old “failed” relationship with your ex. You know the one that’s been dying for some time…get together…break up…get back together…breakup again…etc. This break up is actually the best thing that could’ve happened, it was time to move on…move on from that bad relationship.

Break ups do not mean the end of you and your ex ever being together, this is the most important thing you need to realize during your NC time. You need to put all this behind you and heal yourself emotionally, and prepare to come back and reconnect with your ex…when you’re ready, do not rush through no contact…YOU WILL FAIL!

So What Do You Do While Your In No Contact?

Well here’s what you don’t do…sit there counting off 30 days and expecting your ex to come back like magic. Find any reason (no matter how lame) to break NC and contact your ex out of fear they won’t remember you after 30 plus days of NC.

There is much work to be done during NC and the faster you stop working against the break up and start working with the right tools, the faster you”ll be ready for reconnection, make sense? During your time alone you will make a list of the pros and the cons of your relationship to figure out if you even want your ex back.

Once you calm down and start thinking you might realize it was a bad match after all, or you will see that it was a great match but there were some issues. List these issues as something to work on when you get back together with your ex later on.

You also need to examine your past relationship to see where it started to fall apart, ever clue you uncover will give you a better chance at getting your ex and keeping your ex, OK? The bottom line is NC is not a 30 day thing, it is taking as much time as necessary to calm down, and evaluate your emotional state, work on the past problems, and plan for the future…with or without your ex.

How Will You Know When You’re Ready To Reconnect With Your Ex?

When you call and ask them out to a short meeting (coffee) and they say “no” and you can calmly accept that without panicking, there is more chances to do this later on, right? The fastest way out of relationship limbo, and the “Just Friends Zone”, is to properly use the no contact rule, and stick to it.

Free Step-By-Step System

Just in-case after reading all that you’re still scratching your head, I can help you understand, and I will do it for free. I run a revolutionary Blog, and Forum/Chat Room that takes a whole new approach to getting your ex back, and it works! I don’t care how many books you bought or read…you haven’t seen anything like what I have to offer you.

If you want my help to “get my back”, join my free newsletter for access to a free step by step system to get your life/ex back fast. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

Until next time,

S. Williams

~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~

http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com